pack leader?

[sakirby]

when my boyfriend and i are out and about, if one of us goes into a store, oscar freaks out. barks, whines, and doesn't relax until my boyfriend or i comes back. if we part ways on the walk, it takes oscar a few blocks to walk normally. he keeps looking back for whichever one of us left the group. he also does this when we are in the car. if one of us gets out to get gas, or go the the bathroom, oscar freaks out and won't relax until we are all together. does he think he is the pack leader? why is he so upset if we separate?

[adora's mom]

It sounds like separation anxiety. SA basically means that they think that life stinks unless _______ is there. Oscar likely thinks your boyfriend is the most fun ever and that he can never be happy without him (a co-dependent compliment!). Most of it probably has to do with Oscar's age, he's right around 5 months now, right? If I recall that's the beginning of the 2nd "fear stage" when they're feeling especially clingy and insecure.

Beckham had very bad SA as a puppy - he outgrew the worst of it by about one year. We did desensitization training with him which helped out a lot (not greeting him immediately when we come home, etc). He still freaks out if we're all out together and one of us walks away. He whines, cries, tries to break free to get to that person until they return. He really does this at the dog park if someone in our family goes outside of the gate to get something out of the car or use the restroom. He paces the fence and looks like a nervous wreck until they get back.

[gmacleod]

I don't think that is separation anxiety - or at least, not unless he shows other signs of it such as following you everywhere (and becomming very upset if he can't - drooling/shaking and so forth). Here's a couple of short articles on SA: http://www.cpvh.com/Articles/47.html
http://www.wagntrain.com/SeparationAnx.htm

It does sound as though he needs some desensitisation to one of you leaving though. So you could practice one of you "leaving" and returning in a few minutes' time, with no fuss made by either of you (and that includes acknowledging his whining). You could be right that he believes himself to be the pack leader - but just as likely he thinks that making a fuss about it is what gives him what he wants (ie. both people back). Incidentally, how does he do when you both leave?

[sakirby]

gmacleod...

when we both leave, i almost always give him a kong. so, then he is fine. he chews his kong for a bit and then goes into his crate. but, if i don't give him anything, and he sees us both leave, he barks for about 2 min. and then settles down. we ignore it and just head out. we also ignore him when we come home until he settles down. we have just started that because it was harder when he wasn't housebroken as well as he is now. we would have to take him out RIGHT when we got home, or else he would go on the floor. we were just on vacation in a small town the other day in new york and for the first time (much to my protest), we tied him to a bench outside. i could see him if i leaned forward so, i was sure to keep checking that he was still there. i am so terrified of someone stealing him. anyway, he barked when we first left him for about 3 min. then i went back out at some point to give him more water, and when i left that time, he only barked a couple of times.

so, you don't think the barking when we leave is separation anxiety? he has done it ever since i got him but, he has gotten better. ie. i can leave him in the kitchen now and go about my activities throughout the house, and he won't bark anymore. he just goes into his crate.

[gmacleod]

No, I don't think that is separation anxiety at all. It sounds as though Oscar has a perfectly normal dislike of you guys leaving him all alone: he barks for a few minutes then settles down. That's objection to you leaving, not anxiety about it.

Separation anxiety, conversely, is not normal at all. SA is a complete inability to be left alone that manifests in sypmtoms like drooling (to the point the dog will be drenched and you'll be cleaning out his crate on return), pooping/peeing all over the house, destruction, self-mutilation, and constant barking/howling from the moment you leave until you return (hours later). You'd probably also notice that your dog followed you everywhere and got very upset if he couldn't - so shutting the bathroom door, for example, would be an issue.

[sakirby]

ahhh, i see your point. oscar used to go crazy and bark and claw at the door when i went into the bathroom to shower. he doesn't do that anymore though. i guess he just doesn't want us to leave because he always calms down pretty quickly. thanks guys.

my boyfriend left us tonight (to go to his house) and oscar watched him and tried to follow him on the street but, i said "no" and kept him walking. what would you suggest to curb this behaviour? besides practicing leaving him, and ignoring his protests. we are already doing that but, he consistantly still gets upset if one of us leaves when we are out and about. any suggestions?

[gmacleod]

Well it actually already sounds as though he is improving - he's more relaxed about you being out of his sight (eg. the bathroom thing) and being left all alone (he settles down in a few minutes). So I'd keep on doing pretty much what you're doing, and anticipate that he'll continue to improve :)

Practising leaving is good, hopefully he'll soon get bored with that and treat it as a non-event. You can practice going separate ways when you're out for a walk too. What may be helpful there is to distract Oscar's attention in a nonchalant sort of a way that tells him that it isn't a big deal. You could engage him in something else - either a bit of a game, or even a short run - encourage him to chase you and when he catches you he gets a short game of tug or something. With something like that, he might just fail to notice that someone is missing ;) and when they're not in sight heading away elsewhere, he probably won't be so concerned about it. You don't have to do that every single time - a nice happy "come on Oscar" and keeping on walking as though nothing at all is happening should also be effective. He'll follow your lead to an extent, and if your attitude tells him that there's nothing to be concerned about, he'll start to believe it ;)