What can I do???

[Mingus Cash]

We got our Mingus about 2 weeks ago, he is a happy pup but I am the one that is going crazy! He does not get potty training at all. He will pee where he pleases then goes to the pad to be rewarded for a treat. Sometimes he goes on the pad and we reward and praise him like crazy. He whines like crazy when I am not in the room. But at night in his crate he is fine. I am growing evermore impatient and stressed. I feel he would be better off with a family that can train him with love and patience unlike myself who is angry. I highly considering putting him up for adoption, But I also feel I have not given him a real chance. the longer he is here the more upset I am at his behavior. But I have quickly noticed having a puppy is a bigger responsiblity that I ever thought, maybe much more than I am willing to give. I feel terrible for what I am doing, but I know his well being is much more important, plus my cats are miserable. My husband is breezy and loves Mingus as do I, but he wants everyone to be happy. Please do not bash me for what I am considering doing but I need some advice. My intention was to add another member to our family. We wanted to do everything right, we even bought a house so that we could have enough room for a dog (not the only reason we bought a house but we saw it as one of the benefits). And now I feel hopeless and stupid for not being able to care for a puppy. Mingus deserves the best and I feel I am not it. He is so cute and friendly but that is not the reason we should have him. I just don't know what to do, but I do not want to act on an impulse and regret my decision. Please help. I am heartbroken.

[franp]

How old is your pup?

Puppies do NOT get housebroken in 2 weeks or 2 months... It takes time and patience..

NO ONE is going to bash you. In fact we are here to listen and advise you.. Have you ever had a dog before?

Your dog needs to be restricted, not given run of the house..You need to keep him in one little area. if you let him go all over, he will pee all over..And he needs to be out of his crate one hour longer than he is old; then back in the crate for a nap..

Giving up a dog , when it is not the correct thing is the RIGHT thing to do... The unselfish thing for all concerned..

Please give us more details about the pup..His age etc.. Have you spoken to the breeder? did you get him from a breeder?

And please, don't stress; we WILL help you.

fran

[Mingus Cash]

Mingus is 10 wks old. He mainly spends his time in our kitchen which has tiles. He doesn't roam free in the house at all. He could get hurt and I would never forgive myself. Upstairs he spends time in our bathroom which is gated off from our bedroom. But he whines when he is in there. In the kitchen he is fine. When we are gone or at night he sleeps in his crate. I know he is young and too little to understand much, but I just feel frusterated and lost. I honestly think he would be better off in a patient house. I thought I was patient, I thought I could handle all this. When he upets me I go in another room to cool down so i can deal with him. i would never take out my frustrations on him. I just feel bad for the little guy. I really don't want to contact the breeder he is very rough around the edges and is very ant-vet. He wasn't very helpful when I tried talking to him about potty training when we got Mingus. Plus I feel lame calling him and saying"hey you know that puppy you sold us welp, don't think we want him anymore!".
If we did give him up he would go to a frenchie rescue, they would understand his needs and find him the right home. Yes, I have had puppies before, growing up and it seemed simpler back then. This is a first on my own attempt though. My husband never had pets growing up. His mother hates animals and I am sure is standing by to hear we casn't handle a puppy. She would love to rub it in.

I appreciate all your help and for being sensitive to the whole ordeal.

[franp]

I just PM'd you.. did you get it?? I am with FBRN...

fran

[Solo_dog]

I remember the first time I house/crate trained a puppy on my own...all my other dogs were my parents', and they took care of the training.

I totally sympathize with you! I was so crazy and harried and I thought there was no way I could deal with this little demon! But it turned out, after about three months of frequent walks(even at 2 in the morning), that I realized that I had a sweet, sociable animal who loved being with me. When I reached that point, we were on a walk-every-four-hours during the day, sleep-8-hours-at-night routine. I was finally able to enjoy her when that happened.
I hope you will be able to get through this stage, and really have fun and enjoy your little puppy! But if not, don't worry,we won't hate you! Let us know how things are going! :o

[Miss Donna]

Mingus is 10 wks old. He mainly spends his time in our kitchen which has tiles. He doesn't roam free in the house at all. He could get hurt and I would never forgive myself. Upstairs he spends time in our bathroom which is gated off from our bedroom. But he whines when he is in there. In the kitchen he is fine. When we are gone or at night he sleeps in his crate. I know he is young and too little to understand much, but I just feel frusterated and lost. I honestly think he would be better off in a patient house. I thought I was patient, I thought I could handle all this. When he upets me I go in another room to cool down so i can deal with him. i would never take out my frustrations on him. I just feel bad for the little guy. I really don't want to contact the breeder he is very rough around the edges and is very ant-vet. He wasn't very helpful when I tried talking to him about potty training when we got Mingus. Plus I feel lame calling him and saying"hey you know that puppy you sold us welp, don't think we want him anymore!".
If we did give him up he would go to a frenchie rescue, they would understand his needs and find him the right home. Yes, I have had puppies before, growing up and it seemed simpler back then. This is a first on my own attempt though. My husband never had pets growing up. His mother hates animals and I am sure is standing by to hear we casn't handle a puppy. She would love to rub it in.

I appreciate all your help and for being sensitive to the whole ordeal.
I know how frustrated you are right now. I received my puppy when she was 10 wks old too. She is now 14 weeks old so I'm only two weeks ahead of you at this point with the potty breaking. In my opinion I think the first 2-3 weeks are the hardest until you get a routine down. Just the same as you develope a routine with a human baby.A ROUTINE is very important. I would suggest not giving him so much room to roam at this time. Crate training works the best. I take DeDe outside to potty every 3 hours thru the day and as soon as she is done..we have play time outside, and I keep a squirt bottle of water for her handy if she gets hot, then we come back in and back to the crate with her water and food,toys & bed.She's usually 'worn-out' and goes right to sleep. I never let her run loose unless I can watch her 'every move'. I am also 'word training' her,as she potty's ..I say 'potty outside' over and over and over,so in the future she will know exactly what I expect her to do when I tell her. I have trained all my other dogs in the past like this and it works very well.Also lots and lots of love and praise when she does her potty outside. It DOES get better as time goes on. There will be set-backs so you need to realize that.They are just 'Babies' after-all. I am luckier than most cause my office is at home and am able to work and tend to DeDe too. DeDe got sick the first week and we had a rough start even thru the potty training ,but we got thru it. I have never been known for being 'Patient', but when that sweet little trusting face looks up at me in a way that says I'm her whole world...my heart just melts, and no matter how frustrated I may get, I'm not going to let 'us' down.
Now If you truly feel that down to your very 'core' that you or not capable of raising this puppy,giving him the proper guidence that he deserves, then I think you are probably not a 'dog' person and should consider giving him to a French Bulldog rescue.But please dont get another breed of puppy thinking it will be different...it wont.
Good Luck with whatever you decide. If you decide to stick it out..this forum is a really good support group with alot of good information to help you thru his training. :)

[My2Frenchies]

I could feel the frustration and desperation in your posts. I'm happy that you found this board where you could honestly express how you are feeling and get some help/ advice.

I don't have any experience with a pup as young as yours. From what I've read on here, it seems most puppies don't leave the breeder until around 12 weeks. It sounds as though you took your pup home at 8 weeks, which seems very young. We got our first dog at around 4 months. I remember thinking she would NEVER be housebroken...it took months.

I hope with some support and advice, you can make it through this VERY challenging stage and eventually enjoy your new puppy.

Do not feel "stupid". Puppies may be cute, but they are far from easy! It's clear that you want to do what is best for your puppy. If it doesn't work out, nobody will "bash" you for caring enough to want the best home for him.

[Borgan]

If it makes you feel any better, I have questioned my decision to have a dog too. The first few months is hell. If you can buckle down and get past that, your dog will be a joy of your life. I swear they're worse than babies.

At least babies have diapers and you can bring them in the grocery store.

[nichole]

Are pads confusing to the puppy?? I notice, when there is an accident...it's usually on the rug. Am I creating a monster??

His cough is 99% better, maybe it's time for all outdoor potty...

[knovit]

I have had Otis (16 weeks) for almost 2 weeks now. I can COMPLETELY relate to what you are feeling. I had been contemplating this decision for over a year--in fact, I've watched a friends puppy for days at a time to really get a feel for what it was like. I have the month of August off so I timed bringing him home so I could be with him to train him, etc. I thought I was doing everything right!

But having him here has been SO much work! Literally, a week ago I stood outside in the POURING rain with him for over an hour. My patience was wearing thin and I was crying, just begging him to go and contemplating my decision on getting him as well.

What I did, though, was get him on a strict schedule (as suggested by many others). Lots of walks, crate time and supervised play (supervised being the most important word!). In just a week he's gotten much better. I feel like he still has a lot to learn, but he seems to have settled quite a bit.

One thing that has helped in terms of the crying and whining is a "penny can". I put some coins in a soda can and when he would whine (never in the crate, but when I would gate him into the kitchen) I would shake the can loudly and say "shhh..." After an afternoon of shakes, he's learned to settle himself.

Finally, I found this message board and read through almost every post. I think it's true that knowing others are going through similar things is really comforting. Makes me realize I AM doing what I need for the pup and it's just a learning curve for us...not that I have an awful dog or that I'm an awful owner.

The schedule I used for the first week was:
6:30am up and out for potty (not a walk)
7am breakfast, then in crate for 1.5 hours (I would grab an extra bit of sleep then!!)
8:30am out for potty and a quick walk
8:50am quick training (literally a few minutes) and then some supervised play time. I try to get him running around so he tires out a bit. I also station him with a leash around the bottom of my sofa. He's learned to chew calmly on his bone, empty water bottles, etc...if he gets too restless I might crate him a bit early.
10:30am crate time
12:30pm outside for potty
1:00pm lunch, then crate for 1.5 hours
2:30pm walk
2:50pm training, supervised play
4:30pm crate time
6pm out for potty
6:30pm dinner then crate for 1.5 hours
8pm outside for walk, inside for training and play
10pm crate
11:45pm final walk.

It's been a lot, but in just a week I've been able to push some of the walks back (or not have them at all). As well, the schedule has helped me to notice his "signals" and I might add an extra walk if I notice him sniffing over by the front door.

Anyway, I wish you the best! Good luck with whatever you decide!

Kelly (& Otis!)

[Borgan]

I forgot to mention that the only thing that saved us in the beggining was that we were living in a total slum - it really didn't matter how loud or messy our dog got, because nothing could have made that house any worse than it was. Poop made it look better, infact, and Luna took that to heart. I even found an old crusty turd in the curtains when we moved.

And I feel for you re: the shrieking. Our neighbours TWO HOUSES down complained the first week. But they were selling drugs, so I told them to FO.

It gets better, a lot better. I promise! You just have to find the humour in it. They're full of beans, these dogs. Even now, as I type away, Luna is speaking Klingon and pawing my leg to go out, with zero regard for my human needs, like blogging and eating and watching Newly Weds: Nick & Jessica. In my dog-free life I would have been totally annoyed with this scenario, but time changes everything, I guess. Now it's just funny.

[Carolyn]

Minguscash....I applaud your honesty in speaking of your frustrations. My gut feeling is that you should re-home this pup.... hopefully with a Frenchie rescue organization. This breed is not for everyone and maybe the time is just not right for you to have a puppy. You should not feel stupid....you have shown wisdom in spilling your frustrations and hopefully you will do the right thing for yourself and the pup. Wish you well....

[Hudson]

Tank is 4 months old (today, as a matter of fact) and we've had him for 4 weeks. My wife was saying that he has finally been pretty good lately (last few days; except that one time he wasn't because our daughter forgot to take him out at the two hour mark, so that doesn't count). But if we weren't relentless I am sure that he would be worse. He does really look forward to his treat, PB Kong, when he goes out and he isn't allowed that in the house.

Exactly like your dog, Tank would go out, do his business, get his treat and then one hour later, take a pee right in front of us. But as I said that improved lately so give your guy some time to grow a bit.

As you notice here, this breed doesn't train easily, but eventually gets it. For as young as your dog is, you'd be hard pressed to find any breed that 'gets it' so just remember he is a baby and focus on the good times.

[Solo_dog]

How's it going today, Mingus Cash?

[sakirby]

yes, i am curious too! how are things? what have you decided? i have to say that i applaud your honesty appicon i remember when i got oscar, the first two night, i lay in bed crying and thinking "what have i done?!" and "can i take him back?!" he would cry at night, he would cry if i put him in the kitchen. for the first two weeks, i remember i couldn't even really shower. he would cry or bark the whole time. i was SO frustrated. and then i beat myself up because i was having those feelings. i felt like a terrible dog owner! i do have to say, that if you can't deal with it, more power to you. some people aren't cut out. and don't have the time, or energy. it is too much. but, if you feel like you can, i will tell you, as others have, that it does get better. i remember, since i had never had a puppy before, wondering if it just wouldn't end. i thought maybe oscar would just be like that for good. crying, barking, peeing on everying, pooping everywhere, and just unable to be away from me. but, it does end. i guess this is just one of the things that can happen when we get our pups so young. like you, i got oscar when he was 8 weeks old. now, i know this is too young. i think that we experience behaviours, that if the pups were with their mothers and siblings for a few more weeks, just wouldn't happen. or to a lesser extent. anyway, this is long. i understand your frustration. i thought all of the same things you have. i don't anymore at all. you couldn't pry me away from oscar. but, i know what it is like in the beginning. and he still pissed me off each day, in some new ay ;)

[Mingus Cash]

Mingus is doing well. I am exhausted and still in my pj's. He is laying next to me on his back wiggling around as I rub his belly. He is darling but he more than a handful. I have been waking up at 3 every morning because all I do is think "what should I do". I have been in touch with Rebecca from fbrn. She is sweet and gentle and I am highly considering that he would be best with her and she can find him a forever home. I just feel overwhemled and everything has been put onn hold to tend to Mingus. My house is a mess, my cats are avoiding me, my husband is resenting our decision and slowly so am I. Turns out Mingus came from a puppy broker. I had no clue. There is nothing wrong with him. He is great, full of energy and warms up to anyone after a few moments. He is very well adjusted and does not hide from others. I appreciate everyone's concern and help. I also am thankful no one is treating me like the dummy I feel. I do adore him, I love how he sleeps on my chest and snores in my ear as he rips little rotten egg farts!! I love the way the top of his head smells a combo of dog smell and baby powder! This past two weeks have been very hard on me not just because of Mingus. Or smoke detector broke and began beeping at 5 am on friday. I paid a electrician 135 bucks to fix it, he got here at 2 in the afternoon. AHHHH also this past weekend I got bad news. A family that I babysat for in Northern Ca, lost thier oldest son to cancer. He was just 7 years old! It was been rough on me. Mingus has been howling now instead of whining when he is in his crate during the day. At night not a peep out of him but at day in sounds like he skinned alive or something. on a good note my cats have stopped puking all over the house! welp, i am going to attempt to shower while Mingus seranades me. I know what I need to do I just have to find the courage to do it. I shall keep everyone posted. take care!

[franp]

Thank you sooooo much for letting us know how you are.

What a stressful time you are going thru..Adding a young ;unhousebroken pup to the mix..I can not even imagine.

Just know that we are with you 1000%.Whatever you do.

fran

[Lisa]

Hi Mingus’ mum …
I was very upset when I reviewed your post. I am so sorry you are going through this. I don’t care “what” the breed is, it is never easy raising a puppy the right way.

And it sounds like you know what is required to raise a puppy into a happy and well developed dog but you are struggling. No one will bash you here for being honest and reaching out for help. YOU and you alone know what you are capable of handling and it sounds as though you’ve reached your limit. One thing I learned about the Bulldog breed, they are very VERY intuitive. They pick up on your anxiety, fear, anger – even if you think you’re hiding it – they sense it. They can sense it through the leash, from across the room – they just KNOW. Just consider this … because your pup is young.

If that is indeed the case, I urge you to contact FBRN or perhaps one of the moderators or advisors on the board (Franp comes first to mind) if you haven’t already. They can help you further if you choose to re-home your pup.

If you decided to stick it out, remember, the whole crew here are here to help. Many people on this board are some of the most devoted dog owners I’ve ever met.

You sound very level headed. I’m confident you will make the right decision -
for Mingus.

Good luck … Lisa :)

[Carolyn]

Minguscash...thanks for giving us an update. Sounds like you have been on an emotional roller coaster and I am so very sorry that part of it included the loss of a child. I understand with your feelings....you love this pup and yet it appears the time is not right for you to deal with any added stress in the home. I don't need to tell you it will get harder with time to let the pup go....as rascally as they are....they do tug on our heartstrings.

You will do the right thing. This is such a supportive group....you already know that. Be well.

[Mingus Cash]

Welp, after much discussion with my husband and watching a informtive episode of Oprah yesteday, we made a decision about Mingus and his future with us. He will be leaving for Laguna Beach, Ca tomorrow to be fostered by Rebecca who is a part of fbrn. She will find him a loving and forever home that he deserves. We are highly disappointed and heart broken. But we know that this is best for him and our household as well. I can't base my decision to keep him just because he is so cute!! Though he is truly adorable and precious. But I know now what I can handle and a dog is something I can't deal with. My plate is beyond full and and I thought I could do this. My intentions were honest, good and true. But I would have never known we are cat people until we got a dog. Though I still adore dogs and everytime I see one will say... "oh I want one", I know now that I really can't have one! I think dogs are great and of course the best dog to have is frenchie!! So I commend those who are dog owners because you have a skill that I highly lack. Kudos to you all! I will just have to admire from afar.

My husband has done the dirty work of planning the delivery to Rebecca's. And he will drive Mingus there tomorrow. I plan to give him a bath before he goes. He will take all his toys and other goodies with him. I don't think I will be able to make the trip to drop him off, it is just too hard. My husband is far tougher than I. I think this is best for Mingus, he deserves the very best, his happiness and spirit should thrive and that is most important. I am sad not to be able to see him grow up into the super cutie he is! I plan to take the weekend off from everything and catch up on sleep!! and my husband says we will go out on sunday to get my mind off of our loss. And monday I have to get my house in order, currently it is in a state that is shocking! I hope by wednesday it will all be back to normal.

Thanks to all of you for the support and sensitivity in dealing with this subject. I highly appreciate all your help and words of encouragement! You have helped me not to feel so horrible about what I have to do. I wish all of you and your sweet doggies the best! I will be let you know how his departure goes for all of us. I can tell you already the cats will be thrilled to see him go! Please keep your fingers crossed that once my mother-in-law hears Mingus is gone she won't rub it in my face! She tends to lack tact and sensitvity that is required to make a loving and nice person. Or how she puts it I am just practical and not very "romantic". Please tell me what is romantic about picking up dog poop?

[franp]

Minguscash,

Once upon a time I had a cat name Trouble; my exhusband brought her home.We did NOT need a third cat in the house;my other two made that perfectly clear.Trouble showed us she knew by peeing on the rug.
To make a long story short; I had to give her up.Twenty years later; it still hurts. But she went to a home that was best for her. And that is what you are doing.

Does that mean sometime in the future you may be ready for a dog? Maybe.But NOW you did what was right FOR THE ENTIRE FAMILY..

Thank you. Thank you for taking care of YOU and your family AND the pup.We here are a family of dog lovers.NEVER will we judge or blame you for loving and doing the right thing.

Please feel welcome to post and read..Have a dog vicariously.

We will all be thinking of you on Saturday your bravery and love; yes love for this pup should be an example for all who come to Bulldogworld..

fran and dari...